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Today as I stepped outside, I saw my breath for the first time. My UGGs and my parka will be my outfit of choice until April (maybe even until May?!). My local Target store is filled with cute holiday décor that I didn’t know I needed until I walked into the store. And so begins that special time of year… The holidays? Well yes, but I am talking about “Cuffing season.” Now, for my non-millennial friends, I will define “cuffing” as the cold and dark months when someone who normally would rather be single finds themselves desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship (Urban Dictionary).
I pull my hood over my head, wrap my North Face around myself, head out into the cold, dark air and I guess, “let the Cuffing begin!”
I am the only one in my friend group without a boyfriend. Apparently, my group Cuffs all year long. But a long time ago, and more and more recently, I worked my way to the decision that I don’t want to date someone just because that’s what everyone else around me is doing. It has taken me awhile to get to this point, but I truly see the value of independence.
This summer my family and I were sitting around the fire having a conversation about how Henry was thinking about going to a United States Military Academy. We talked about the idea of him going through basic training, developing mentally and physically, and him earning his way through stages and ranks to achieve greatness.
Somehow, the conversation turned into what is now referred to as “Grace’s Base Camp.” In a manner of speaking, this is kind of like boot camp for prospective partners. They all start out knowing very little, eager and earnest. They need mental and physical development and they earn their way through stages and ranks hopefully to share greatness!
They don’t start by shaving their heads, but if they smoke or vape they quit on the first day of camp. Next, they move quickly onto communication. In the military, Henry will look his officers in the eye and yell “Yes sir!” I kind of like that. Grace’s Base camp calls for direct talking and eye to eye conversation. If you think that you can communicate with me by a quick snapchat; you’d better be ready to do some push-ups soldier.
To make your way up through the ranks, there is a list of qualities you might want to look into: “wants a big dog,” “likes sports,” and “will spend summers on the lake.” None of these is exclusive, but these are “leadership skills” which will help you get along with the platoon…or, I mean my family.
Not everyone will be looking to become an officer at Grace’s Base Camp, and that’s fine. The highest ranking elite few however, will be proficient in family and faith, will be hard-working and will make me a better person.
“Grace’s Base Camp” reminds me of what I need and want in a relationship.
I see family members and friends in happy and healthy relationships. I know that these relationships did not come about by people settling. I have learned the importance of guarding my heart. Someone should work hard to be able to get to call you their significant other. It may take time, but I promise, your person is out there.
This cuffing season, keep in mind that it is OK not to be “cuffed.” Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to snuggle up and watch football with someone, but for now this will be reserved for those who finish, “Base Camp.” The few, the proud, the boyfriends.
