Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.
—Brené Brown
The annual courage issue is here, my beautiful reader friends. In these pages, you will meet some amazing women who were courageous to live through and to share their incredible stories. I am honored that each of these women were were willing to share their courageous choices with all of us.
This issue has always been my favorite of the year. I get to reflect on all the amazing women in my life. Indulge me.
My sweet Grace has grown so much in the past few years. I am so proud of the woman she is. She has taken the time to work on herself, and she knows her value and worth. I love hearing all her adventures and how she navigates this crazy world. She has found her voice. Her confidence and independence are something many women never achieve; she inspires her mama.
My sisters are not only great friends, but also courageous and strong. I can never forget the tribe of women who have lifted me with acts of kindness, encouragement, prayers, tears, and laughter.
And then there’s sweet Maria, a longtime classmate of Grace’s. It feels like we were just in gymnastics with Maria and Grace, all of five years old. Her mama Jean and I would catch up and chatter the entire time. We giggled at the sweet girls and all their silliness. The gymnastic chatters turned into Saturday gym bleacher talks, watching them play basketball. The basketball talks turned into track meet conversations about what the prom dresses looked like and where the girls would go for college. Maria will say her last goodbye to her mama this week. A few weeks ago, I was able to have a cup of coffee with Maria. She was full of hope and excitement even though she was carrying a hefty load. We talked about her life, her plans, what she was doing, and all the planned adventures. As we chatted, I could not help recalling some of my chats with her amazing mama. At that moment, I saw Maria smile, and her eyes lit up. There was calm within her. She gave me a familiar peace. She is her mama’s daughter. Maria’s strength that day was in all the things that we didn’t say, but in what we both knew. We laughed, we cried, and we hugged. Her mama made me a bracelet; Maria gave it to me that day. Jean, you were brave and strong and raised a beautiful, strong woman. Rest in peace, beautiful friend. Your legacy will live within your precious daughter. Sweet Maria, your strength is a gift to me.
I have been following author/speaker Jen Hatmaker for years, but this year she has been my soul sister. I was introduced to her when she and her husband the HGTV show, Your Big Family Renovation. They, too, have five children, two of which are adopted. There were many similarities. She has a podcast called For the Love, and this past year, she started a new series called Flipping the Script.
I, too, am in a season of change; my script has been flipped. I am in the midst of learning many lessons: change is not always bad; change during grief isn’t linear and continues to be a journey; change is full of many gifts. As I took a long look at my life and myself, some very strong cognitive dissonance stared back at me. I re-examined the view in the rear-view mirror—everything I thought I knew and believed. I have learned faith like never before. Ground-shaking change can often alter one’s faith. I am no exception. God remains good through it all. Of course, emotionally, there are days I embrace my new life and lean into change, and next I am sobbing at a Fed Ex with a little old man trying to pull out whatever he can find to assure me whatever ails me will soon be better. Those are the “fake-it-‘til-you-make-it” days.
The hardest lesson learned this year is “not everyone will stay.” I thought everyone was going to be with me at the end of this race. I cannot drag and pull people across the finish line with me. Some of the people in my life are here for a reason, and some for a season. God has shown me that I cannot get everyone through the race. I must allow them to finish on their terms and their own way. Some have already dropped out. Some things I will do alone; in other things, people will be with me. I won’t second-guess the people who are no longer with me. I will love myself while owning my story—by far the most courageous thing I have ever done. Thank you, my ever-supportive readers, for allowing me to be honest and vulnerable. I am honored to have spent another year with all of you. I am excited about what lies ahead. I am beyond Thankful for our contributors, advertisers; without you, 5ive would not exist. To my micro-staff at 5ive, you go above and beyond to make year after year a success. Thank you. The journey will continue in faith, family, friends, fitness, and finance.