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I am imperfect and vulnerable but I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
–Brene Brown
I am finally in a place where I can share some thoughts about my midlife shift. My friends, I reached a milestone birthday this past month. Well, it’s been a milestone year for a few years. I reflect on the past fifty years. The best, hardest, and most incredible thing I received was the opportunity to be a mother. I’d like to think I am always calm, cool, and collected. However, ask my children what it was like to have an Irish, redhead, Catholic mother, and they may beg to differ. I would like to think they would at least say we had fun. I am sure if you asked them, they would have many fun stories, and maybe a few “Jenism” mom quotes: “Do not embarrass the program,” “You only go around once,” “You can’t quit,” to name a few.
My faithful readers, please indulge me as I take this opportunity to share a love letter to my fabulous five:
Lessons I Have Learned in My First Fifty Years
My dear sweet babies, we all have experienced some type of trauma and disappointment. Unfortunately, I know life will not always be easy for you. You came into adulthood with the hard stuff. There is armor that we put on to protect ourselves from being hurt. My advice is, sweet ones, do not allow that armor to build up. I promise you that your armor will get oh so heavy, and it will not protect you. It will not let others see who you are, but more importantly, it won’t allow you to see who you really are. In the words of my Brené Brown, no one rides for free. Please, sweet ones, do not wait until the midlife shift and the universe comes down, pulls you close, and whispers that she’s not playing around, and you are halfway to dead. Take your life and make it your own.
- Pray even when you don’t think anyone is listening; question your faith so it grows.
- Ignore my line of don’t embarrass the program. Embarrass the stupid program! Grow and be curious and do whatever you need to be your authentic self.
- If it won’t matter in five years, do not fret about it.
- Trust your gut.
- Work hard, educate yourself, and never stop learning; always take care of yourself.
- Boys, when you are husbands and fathers, it’s time to make plates, and there are crying babies and chaos. Always take the baby and let your wife eat first. Treat your wives as the queens that they are.
- Grace, you learned so much tolerance and patience. Being the only girl is a fantastic opportunity. Still, do not forget about yourself and always know your worth.
- When you become a parent, realize how fast time goes. The days are so long, but the years are so short. Cliché as that is, it is true. The early years are daunting, and I know you will be tired. Don’t be so busy that you miss it. I am forever grateful for our adventures: summers smelling like sunscreen and ice cream, play dates, Camp Manitou, Hayward, road trips with car dancing on the way to see cousins, and quiet afternoons snuggled in after long days. The time I had with you is a gift; figure out a way to create memories that will carry you through the difficult days.
- Laugh and find someone that will laugh along with you. My sweet ones, laughter will get you through many hard days. Life is hard.
- Apologize when you are wrong.
- The best things in life will be the people you love, the places you’ve been, and the memories you make along the way.
- Be vulnerable. Use Brené Brown’s definition: “vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.”
- Get eight hours of sleep each night, exercise, and eat healthily.
- Travel early and often.
- Therapy is a good thing.
- Take your vitamins.
- Life is short, so do not settle.
- Volunteer and contribute to your community.
- You have always been enough, and you have always been loved.
- Don’t be afraid to cry and show emotion.
- Always be kind to the helpers. You are not better than anyone. Take the time to see people. Overtip and help others along the way
- Be courageous enough to let others see your imperfections
- Be compassionate and empathetic to others and yourself.
- Seek God with all your heart, mind, and soul.
My fabulous five, do not walk through this world looking for evidence that you do not belong because you will never find your belonging or worth associated with other people. To the moon and back!
My sweet readers, thank you for yet another incredible year. This is our annual courageous issue. I am so proud of the women who bravely shared their courageous stories.
I am profoundly proud of 5ive for Women; it is my wonderful passion project. I am thankful to my readers and all the advertisers, for there is no magazine without them. I am beyond blessed to have the fantastic small crew that helped make this magazine possible. I appreciate you all and look forward to an excellent 2023.
