Chippewa Valley 5ive for Women The Chippewa Valley’s Premier Magazine for Women!
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The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.
– Nelson Mandela
This quote hit me hard today. I get daily quotes. Nelson Mandela’s passage was a God wink; I was having a tough day. I am an imperfect human, trying to navigate this crazy life. The above quote passed over me when I first read it, as I was busy with my day’s morning madness. However, it came back hard like the whipping wind I felt against my skin as I strolled the dog through Putnam Trail on the coldest day we have had this winter. If I didn’t know better, I swear I got frostbite; and not from the wind. Here is the back-story: I made a mistake with kids. I felt like I was a horrible person and not a good mom. I was beating myself up and wallowing in my non-perfect moments of “momness.” I was ruminating, overthinking, obsessing that I’d doomed my kids to a dreadful life of pain and misery because of my mistake.
Drama much? The narrative I was telling myself was that I wasn’t a good mom, and I’m a horrible human who destroyed all of my children. Now ladies, the mistake I made wasn’t catastrophic. It was a human error. In case you have not met me, I am a recovering perfectionist and working to be “good enoughist.” But at that moment on Putnam trail, I began to cry, and that cry became a hideous cold cry. I wept for the little girl that this mistake evoked in me. The little girl that never felt she was enough. That little girl that hardly spoke in fear it would be the wrong thing.
If my children make mistakes, I am the first to jump in and tell them mistakes happen, and you are stronger because of them. I am forever their biggest cheerleader. I have preached that without failure there cannot be great success. If they don’t have a loss, their ability to navigate a plan B will never be developed. That struggle is okay and, in fact, in some instances, needed. I have always tried to instill in my children that God has a plan; trust His plan. And of course, my all-time favorite: never cry over spilled milk. My children know that regardless of what happens in life, they matter, belong, and are worthy. I was crying because although I have taught those lessons to my children, have they seen me live those lessons? And further, what is more powerful?
My tendency is to jump in and “over-help” when something happens with my kids. At times, it may appear that I cannot handle it if my children fail. The truth is my children have had to navigate harsh disappointments and failures. I have witnessed these fantastic five navigate some extremely challenging disappointments with more grace and courage than most adults. The tears came because the reality is I never was protecting my kids from failing; I was protecting them from feeling like they do not belong or that they are not enough. At that moment, I realized I have been vulnerable with my children. I have allowed myself to be human in front of them, and they have always given me grace.
I know they feel a deep sense of love and belonging. I see it in their day-to-day interactions and in the love and protection they have for each other. Their sense of loyalty and selflessness I witness in their relationships and friendships. So, the tears of pity became tears of gratitude and the growth God has allowed me. I know that I can fall and make a mistake. I can get back up and rise; and that, my beautiful mamas, is the Glory.
This issue marks the 10th year of publishing 5ive For Women. I am beyond honored have been part of your lives for the past 10 years. This issue is about health and happiness and how we continue to work together in these continued challenging times—how we can be well in the journey of faith, family, friends, fitness, and finance.
