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Standing Strong Together
By: Jack Tice
Ashley Peggs shares her courageous story and the community that rallied around her.
Recently, one of Ashley Peggs’ four daughters had a question. “Mommy,” the young girl asked, “When was the best day of your life?”
Ashley Peggs is a young woman, a mother, a family-oriented person. She’s a teacher—first in a classroom where she taught second graders, and also at home, where she embraced a teaching role as a stay-at-home mom. Further, she is a teacher in the community, where she has worked at learning centers and where she educates through her blog, Parenting with Principle.
The best day of her life? Tough question. Ashley Peggs has had to live two lives.
Ashley grew up in a loving, supportive family. She went to college and studied education. She worked to pay the bills, and one day, caught the eye of a co-worker. Turns out he, too, was working his way through college. And he, too, was studying education.
Positive things moved along quickly. The two became a couple, graduated and started careers as teachers. They married, had a child, then had another and another and another. The family decided that Ashley should stay home with the kids, while dad advanced his career in education.
His career advanced quickly and with all the positivity the young family had been enjoying. A teaching job turned into a principal opportunity. Then another opening and another principal job. And suddenly, a superintendent of schools position presented itself.
In a little over a decade, the two college kids went from waiting tables at Olive Garden to the being the head of a school district, having a beautiful home and four beautiful daughters under the age of eight.
“It was amazing and wonderful,” Ashley recalls, leaning forward in her chair, her voice notably taking on an air of excitement. “We were an integral part of the community. We felt connected to the community.”
And the young family did not stop. Despite four young children and the responsibility of a superintendent’s position, the couple started a blog. They went online to share their stories about family and activities and learning. Ashley had so many experiences that moms and families could relate to, and she shared them with the world so people would know that they are not going at this alone.
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The mat at the front door of Ashley Peggs’ residence does not say, “Welcome.” Rather, the front door mat says, “Just so you know it, there are a lot of kids who live here.”
The sentiment of course, is that one may not get all the dishes done today. And, some of the beds might not get made. And, on certain days, your one-year-old daughter might just have to wear your three-year-old daughter’s pants.
Ashley picks up the one-year-old and gives her a hug. “Your sister’s pants fit you just fine for now,” she tells the young girl both smiling.
“Mommy, when was the best day of your life?”
Ashley Peggs did not hesitate. She looked the young girl in the eyes and told her that the best day of her life was the day that she and each of her sisters was born.
It is just as easy for Ashley to remember the worst day of her life.
She never saw it coming. Her husband had been out of town on work. He arrived back at home, but wanted the family to go out to a local ice cream shop to support a fundraiser for his schools. It was a happy family outing, and the family was connecting to their community.
In the morning, Dad was getting ready for work, and Ashley was getting her oldest ready for school and the next oldest ready for preschool. Busy here, busy there. Dad went out to the car, and somehow the three-year-old missed out on saying goodbye to him.
Mom can fix this. Ashley grabbed her phone and “Face timed” her husband.
He did not answer.
She tried again.
Hmm? Still no answer.
Ok. Sometimes he gets really busy at work right away.
Ashley promised her three-year-old that they would call Daddy later, and now they needed to get the five-year-old out of her pajamas so she would not be late to preschool.
Racing around on a school morning in a house where “a lot of kids live,” Ashley glanced out a side window and noticed three men coming up the walkway. One of them was wearing a police uniform.
Oh god, thought Ashley. “If I did something wrong, I hope that they understand that I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.” She opened the door for the men. They were calm and polite. One of the men asked Ashley if she could call someone to come over and give her some help.
She asked if something was wrong.
The man repeated, “Can you just have someone come over and give you some help?”
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Ashley Peggs cannot stop thanking all the people who have come over to give her some help. “The support of the community has been overwhelming,” she said. The family’s only breadwinner arrested, charged and fired from his job without severance; it was the community that put its collective arms around this family.
“Everyone. The teachers from the school district. A community meal train that lasted for three months. Letters. Messages. Connections. Everyone expressing understanding. Everyone wanting to help. My kids’ pediatrician. Our dentist.”
Without an income, Ashley and the girls had to move out of the family home. “People just showed up and moved us.” A teacher from the school district has become a regular in the household. The girls cry when the teacher leaves. Ashley says that this teacher, “has been my Mary Poppins.”
Someone even dropped off a giant unicorn. The girls love the unicorn.
Ashley Peggs’ life has always been all about her girls.
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After someone came over to take care of the girls, Ashley Peggs sat down to speak with law enforcement. The officers explained the allegations against her husband. They alleged that he was involved in child pornography and human trafficking of a minor.
Ashley did not know what to say. She told them that she did not know anything. And she gave them everything. If they wanted a computer or a phone or a tablet, anything.
“If there was something there, I wanted them to have it,” said Ashley. “The police were really nice. They did not turn the house upside down.” She paused. “They had already turned my life upside down.”
The arrest occurred just a few days after Valentine’s Day. Her husband had made a big deal out of Valentine’s Day. He had involved each of the girls and arranged for them to give Ashley a set of clues. The clues led to a loving dinner.
“He was the best friend I ever had in my life,” said Ashley. Now she sees that her husband had been leading two lives. “He loved me and the girls, and we were happy. But he also had other things… And he needs help.”
Because of the egregious allegations and her husband’s high profile position in the community, his arrest set off a firestorm. There was, of course, media, but there was also talk and social media, too.
Ashley recalls going to the grocery store. She could not be comfortable. She wondered if people recognized her. She wondered if people blamed her or thought she was involved. She knew that she should not look at commentary on social media. But, of course…she did. It was torture. She wanted to stand up and scream, “I didn’t know! I didn’t do anything wrong!”
At the same time, Ashley had no time for herself. She had four young daughters under the age of eight. And they needed her.
Again the community responded. Ashley thanks those that stepped in to help, and especially those that stepped in to help her protect the girls. “We do not watch the news. We can’t even listen to the radio in the car.”
Ashley notes that she wants people to know that, “The girls are doing phenomenal.”
When asked about courage, Ashley responded, “I think for me, I just had to push things aside and get things done.” Ashley had to sell the house, apply for Foodshare and go on state healthcare. She had to protect her children and try to help them deal with the absence of their father.
She tells the girls that people sometimes make mistakes. She tells them that when people make mistakes, there are consequences.
Later Ashley speaks for herself. “People make choices, and even good people make bad choices.” She pauses a second and looks away. “These were very bad choices,” she says.
Her husband has not seen the girls since the day of his arrest. But, Ashley does supervise a weekly phone call to him. “He will always be their father,” she says.
It also takes courage to tell her story. But, by telling her story, Ashley has made some valuable connections. “People have contacted me. They have been through similar things. Not the same, but similar things.” Ashley says that these strangers reaching out has helped her heal. And, she realizes that by sharing her story with others, she, too, is helping.
But for now, Ashley Peggs’ focus remains on her young daughters. The girls are all that really matter.
The inquisitive daughter continues, “Mommy, when do you think that I will have the best day of my life?”
Ashley smiles at the young girl. “The best day of your life will be the day that you have a daughter of your own,” she says.
Ashley Peggs has experienced unfathomable shock. Her fairy-tale life was instantly disrupted with persistent pain. And now, her future, finances and family are affected by struggle.
But through it all, courageously, Ashley Peggs keeps her life focused on her daughters.
