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WRITTEN BY HEATHER ROTHBAUER-WANISH
Jane Cooper is a woman on a mission to lead a happy, whole, and satisfying life. In addition to caring for her special needs son, she takes time for family, tries to find time to center herself, and works diligently to focus on the positive aspects of everyday living. Through both challenging and fulfilling times, Cooper knows that it is important to take a moment and appreciate everything the world has to offer.
Faith
“It is not that faith has shaped my life. It is that life has shaped my faith,” says Jane. Her faith is constantly evolving, and what worked for Jane yesterday doesn’t necessarily work for her today. As Jane attended Catholic school as a young child, she had a strong belief in God, reaching for Him during times of turmoil, “As a young girl, my mom told me that God is in everything that is good and beautiful. So, I also put my faith in the beauty of nature: the wind, an unbelievable sunset, a field of crops—our Mother Earth. Those ideas carried me through my younger years.”
However, like most people, Jane has experienced tough times that caused her to doubt her faith: “Having a child born with profound special needs made me question where the ‘God’ was in all of that. I had a hard time believing that it was a part of ‘God’s plan’ and that we just have to ‘trust in the Lord’ when I saw an innocent baby suffering.” Prior to this, Jane believed that if you had enough faith, good things would come. Now, she focuses on learning from others and increasing her own personal development, “I’ve learned that we all are a lot alike and that our beliefs are quite similar.”
“Currently, I am the primary caregiver to my adult son with special needs. Previously, I was a graphic designer for many years, but gave that up to take care of Isaac. It is a daily struggle to take care of his needs, both physically and medically. I constantly question whether I am doing the right thing for him,” Cooper explains. However, instead of focusing on the questions, she is trusting in her abilities as a mom and in the love that connects them to make the right decisions for him moving forward. Jane recommends that women try to be in every moment, slow down, and quiet their minds, “Turn off the self-hate and you will find you love more. As women, we have been taught that there is a mold that we all must fit in, and if we don’t, we must not be good enough. Accept who you are in this moment and love yourself.”
Family
Jane and her husband, Jeff, have three children: Gisele, age 26, is currently a peace fellow in Nepal working on child labor issues; Isaac, age 22, lives at home with them; and Francis Henry, age 8, attends Hillcrest Elementary School. “I have four sisters and one brother, along with twenty nieces and nephews and one great nephew. Almost all of us live in Chippewa Falls. In fact, several of us live within a few blocks of each other and we lovingly call it ‘the co-dependent mile,’” adds Jane.
Jane enjoys spending time with her family; and in the summer months, the extended family has a picnic night at Irvine Park every Wednesday evening. “Everybody tries to make it and most weeks the tables are full,” she states. In addition, Jane enjoys throwing parties and always ends up with a full house for the get-togethers: “Because there are so many of us, there are tons of opportunities to celebrate! We are all loud and obnoxious, but I can’t imagine it any other way.”
Because Isaac isn’t very mobile and has fragile medical issues, the family spends a lot of time at home. “We love working in our yard, and we enjoy our wonderful neighbors. Going for a ride in the park and getting an ice cream is about as exciting as it gets for us for an outing. It’s what Isaac can tolerate and we thoroughly enjoy Irvine Park,” she explains. The family also makes an effort to do other things with family friends of their youngest son, Francis.
Friends
Although it can be challenging to find time to meet with friends, Jane knows that it is a necessity, “Forcing myself to take time for a lunch with my friend or a chai with my favorite aunt is crucial to keep me breathing through the next week. I know that it’s vital and when I miss it, I can tell. Schedule it—if I don’t, it won’t happen.” She adds, “My best friend is vitally important. I definitely need time for adult time only. And, the funnier and crazier we can get, the better.”
While planning outings with friends isn’t always a possibility, Jane looks forward to the unexpected meetings, “It is okay if we get-together at the last minute, because it usually ends up being more fun. I’m lucky that I can just pick up where I left off with old friends. It’s like time and space never happened and I truly appreciate the time I can spend with them.”
Fitness
Because of the physical demands of taking care of Isaac—which is a workout—Jane finds little additional time for fitness. “Scheduled fitness is the last thing on the list. I know it would make me feel better. However, I do enjoy walking and biking, and I know these things are good for me,” Jane says. In addition, Jane’s sister was a yoga teacher, and they have had times of doing yoga and dance at her house. “Eating good, whole, unprocessed foods is something that I really try to do, and knowing where my food comes from is important to me, too,” she adds.
Finance
Jane is a bargain hunter and rarely pays full price for anything. “I find value in re-purposing items and vintage products,” she says. And while she currently doesn’t have traditional “employment,” Jane managed her own business finances when she was a graphic designer. “I found that it was really important to know what my work was worth. I often completed projects for free, but then realized that my friend who owned a grocery store wouldn’t give me free groceries—my time and skills are worth something, too,” she explains, “And, I was always told to pay myself first.” Because of that, Cooper has had auto-withdrawal from her bank to her IRA right away at the beginning of the month for many years.
Although she balances the five Fs as much as possible, Jane admits there may be no true balance to these demands as each day is different, “Perhaps my balance understands that I need to be okay with myself if I can’t give one demand a lot of attention at a certain point and time and that one day I will get back to it.” So, of the five Fs, family is the most important to Jane, “It’s all unconditional love. We might drive each other crazy now and again, but when it comes down to it, they are there for me and I am there for them.”
